Behind the Scenes
by Loretto
Summary: Dani's thoughts on Nico's radio silence and odd behavior during Season 3. She had a lot of anger and mistrust for him, and I think it might be interesting to explore her thought process. I've heard the suggestions about incorporating Nico's thoughts into it/kind of a he said/she said, and I'm going to do that eventually.
1. Behind the Scenes

How many messages had she left, how many texts had she sent, asking if he was OK? Easily a dozen. She didn't give up easily. She remembered Marshall Pittman telling her that when he left, he left without saying goodbye, but she honestly hadn't thought that would apply to her.

She felt so many emotions. First and foremost was worry - had something happened to him? Was he even seeing those texts?Otherwise, why wouldn't he just reply to let her know she was OK? That was all she really needed to know.

Then there was doubt - Was their friendship ever what it seemed to be? Was he ever what she thought he was? She thought that there was a connection and a mutual respect there. Had her mind dreamed it up to dignify her undeniable physical attraction to him?

Sometimes there was guilt. Had he seen her with Matt? Was he that hurt? It seemed unlikely, considering that their relationship consisted of a good friendship and some very good kisses?

More often than she would have imagined, there was anger - what happened to that friendship he seemed to value? Didn't it merit at least a simple text telling her that he'd left? Yes, she probably would have persisted, but he could have said that he didn't want to continue their friendship and left it at that. (She hoped she would have given up if he'd told her that.)

Always, there was loss.


	2. Distance

Well, sure enough there was a client who needed help. She finally got the information from Connor, who was almost too charming and good-looking (not that she was complaining), but finally had to ask point-blank how Nico fit into the equation.

Connor told her to go get the answers from Nico himself, so she headed down to the crowded atrium to find him. By the time she had pushed her way through to reach him, he was gone, but instead, he had just decided to startle her the way he enjoyed doing so much. But that was about all that remained of the man she knew from before. He really did not seem to care at all that she had been worried about him. He certainly seemed to be completely indifferent about seeing her again. When she found out that he had been in New York the whole time, she was angry, and by the time he seemed to almost taunt her with what happened with the Hawks, she was livid and hurt. She'd never known him to be remotely cruel before.

After she had some time to think about it, she decided she wasn't being fair to judge him by the way he had behaved that morning. After all, as a therapist she knew that people put up all sorts of walls for many reasons. Maybe Jeannette was right - maybe he had been more hurt by her rejection than she had thought (she wouldn't go so far as to say she had broken his heart, of course - after all he was still getting over Gabrielle Pittman when they had kissed, and besides, Jeannette loved to exaggerate). Maybe he was embarrassed. In any case, she had seen his true character so many times while they worked for the Hawks, and she owed that person a lot of benefit of the doubt.

She was surprised to see him on the plane when she did the test flight with Hutch, but she imagined it was part of his job description, which was probably as vague as it was with the Hawks. She tried to get some information out of him, but he dodged her as easily as he always had in the past. What was missing was the playfulness such discussions used to have. Still, she wasn't going to give up this easily.


	3. Awkward

The one good thing about this visit from Matt is that she was reminded of one of the reasons why they had broken it off in the first place: the man could be ruthlessly self-serving. He wanted her to "just" violate her professional ethics for his convenience. She couldn't believe she hadn't seen that before, that Matt didn't really respect what she did. They sat in silence for a few seconds before the doorbell rang. She was almost relieved at the interruption, until she saw who it was: Nico.

He didn't bother to hide his shock at seeing Matt. She watched through lowered eyes as the two men locked eyes. Matt probably had the wrong idea, which is why she clarified that she and Nico had a client together. She shouldn't care, but she didn't want there to be awkwardness if Matt made, and commented on, the assumption that she and Nico were seeing each other. Things were weird enough with Nico already.

To be fair to Nico, she wasn't worried that Nico thought that she was still involved with Matt. Even if he was being a colossal jerk right now, she felt confident that he knew her better than that. She of all people would not get involved with a married man after what Ray put her through, and an expectant father to boot? No way. No, Nico seemed to be giving Matt some sort of stare-down, although she wasn't quite sure what that was about. She was very sure that neither man had romantic interest in her. God knows she didn't have any in either of them at this point.


	4. Professionalism

She wasn't happy that she was going to have to work with him, and made a face at him. She felt a little childish, but at the same time, so what? It wasn't like it was going to make him clam up. She saw his slight smirk and wondered if it was reflex or an echo of their past playful relationship. In any case, she knew him well enough to know that he took his job very seriously and that even if he hated her, he'd still do whatever necessary to help the client.

He picked her up at her house and they drove together to the set to meet Cindy, her new client. She sat in silence in his car, looking out the window. She didn't even try to make conversation; if she knew anything about Nico, it was that it was impossible to extract information and she didn't want to make small talk with him like they were back to their old ways.

He asked her about her silence, which surprised her. Was he just being a jerk? Mr. Strong and Silent wanted to chit chat? Her response - "Why? You don't say anything, and I've got nothing to say." seemed to satisfy him.

The actress presented a fair number of challenges - an overdose of antihistamines and a surprise tattoo were two of them, and Nico ended up being put on guard duty to make sure she showed up at the set the next day. She probably shouldn't have been surprised that he appeared at her doorstep that night along with a weeping Cindy, who threw herself in her therapist's arms while Dani glared at Nico.

It turned out that the actress had some problems with her romantic attachments, as evidenced by the restraining order from her most recent boyfriend, and her desperate desire to be with her current one. Dani had tried to counter that the actress really didn't need her boyfriend right then, only to have the actress counter, "_Haven't you ever had that feeling, Dr. Santino, where you have something with another person and you can't describe it but it's undeniable? And you had to act on it or you'd just… burst?" _

She couldn't help glancing at Nico when Cindy said that. It was pure reflex, and she was embarrassed. She was surprised to see him looking back at her, only to drop his eyes with an expression she thought she recognized but couldn't believe: he looked hurt. She realized she had imagined it a few minutes later, when he redoubled his jerkiness by telling Cindy she could spend the night at the Santino residence. He knew better than that, and she called him on it. He went back to a tactic he hadn't used on her since she first met him, which was to refer to her contract. She finally asked him point blank why he didn't want her at V3. His answer, that he didn't think it was the right place for her, and that he didn't care how she interpreted that answer, ticked her off. She was going to help her client, and he was going to help her do it, whether he wanted to or not. She wasn't going anywhere.

By the time he got back with answers, it seemed like he was ready to collaborate professionally. Good. She'd deal with whatever his issue was with her later. At least there wouldn't be overt hostility.


	5. Dizzy

She was really having a hard time understanding his behavior. He had stopped the coldness and was now...well, she wasn't quite sure. It started when he was installing special software on her computer to keep her files protected from V3. He had his hand on the back of her chair and was leaning over to make sure the firewall was being set up correctly. It was a little distracting having him so close to her.

She mentioned that she didn't really keep much on her computer after the Pittman debacle, almost without thinking. She was surprised when he said, sincerely, that it would never happen again, that he promised. They made eye contact, and she went from being slightly distracted by his physical proximity to practically transfixed by him. My God, she had almost forgotten the effect he could have on her. Her head was almost spinning.

She was almost relieved when Paloma interrupted, breaking the spell. She attempted to compose herself, only to have Paloma note that Nico's feelings about her were absolutely transparent. (She compared him to a squid, which would have amused Dani under other circumstances.) She didn't like where that conversation was going, so she shut Paloma down sharply. Her assistant was dead wrong, and it was almost painful to think about Nico having romantic feelings for her.

Later that week, the office had a cocktail party to celebrate recent triumphs. She wasn't going to come, but her plans changed and she decided to attend. She made her way tentatively through the crowd - they really hired a lot of tall people at V3, it seemed - and looked around for a familiar face. All of a sudden, she heard a familiar voice from behind her: "So you came." She turned to see Nico looking at her with a genuine smile on his face. His voice could be so gentle sometimes, she thought to herself. It made her heart skip a beat when she heard it, because it reminded her of the night they had kissed so many months ago, when he had told her that she was the only one who knew him now that Pittman was dead. She barely heard what she was saying as she told him she had decided to become more social to fit into the V3 "family," like he had. He didn't comment on that, but looked her in the eyes and said, softly, "You look beautiful."

Whoa. That was unexpected. She felt herself blush and dropped her eyes. She didn't know what to say.

Fortunately, she didn't have to say anything, since Connor came up to them just then. She was surprised and confused to watch as Nico showily looked at his empty glass and commented that he needed a refill, leaving her alone with Connor. The way he said it was so insincere, like he had just been waiting for someone to rescue him from the conversation.

She let Connor turn on his considerable charm, whirling her around the floor until she could barely keep her balance.

Nico never came back. She really didn't understand his behavior at all. Did he have romantic feelings for her again? He didn't seem like a game-player, so why all the dreamy eye contact unless he meant something? She needed to be careful around him, that much was clear. He had the ability to confuse her in a way no other man ever had. They might not be friends anymore, but damn, the attraction was still off the charts.


	6. Diversion

When she returned from her weekend business retreat, she found herself thrown into another case. She was glad to keep busy, but it was growing harder and harder for her to admit the truth: she was lonely. Her friends and family were occupied (or out of the country), her romantic life was non-existent, and she didn't even have a pet.

She was starting to wonder if Paloma (and TK and Jeannette) were right: she needed some romance (TK was much more indelicate about it, of course).

She had to admit she was flattered by the attentions of Sam, a cute agent from the Los Angeles office. Yes, he was too young for her, and his interest was clearly physical, but it was nice for once to know exactly where she stood with a man, and what she'd be getting from a relationship. He admired her, thought she was sexy, and was pursuing her.

When he sent her flowers, she was reminded of nice it was to have a little romance in her life. Nico saw the flowers and overheard her and Paloma talking about Sam being persistent, and it seemed like his curiosity got the best of him - he actually tried to snatch the card from her to see who it was from. What was with that? It was completely out of character for him, and it made her a little irritated. Why did he care about her romantic life? Did Mr. "Soulful Eye Contact, Then Nothing" think he had the right to know this? If she didn't know him better, she'd think he was playing games with her.

She didn't understand him at all, and she just didn't want to piece it together right now. She wanted to be desired and pursued and distracted and flirted with and seduced.

She wanted to keep it simple for once, and not have to think so much.


	7. Aftermath

She had been happy about the two-night stand with Sam, but a little taken aback that he had shown up at the office a few days later. All of a sudden she realized that she wasn't going to be able to avoid seeing him on occasion. That was not simple, that was potentially complicated.

She realized that during the morning's staff meeting. She was seated between Sam and Nico, and was enjoying some flirtatious glances with Sam when she looked at Nico. Nico gave Sam a stare-down, while she cringed. What was wrong with him? First Matt, now Sam? Was it some sort of alpha dog thing that men did when they met their female friends' dates? Was he even her friend? And why was she cringing? Oh, yeah, because she had very nearly had sex with Nico, and now he was meeting somebody she was sleeping with NOW.

These musings were interrupted by an FBI raid, of all things. She flew into action to protect her files, only to have Nico steer her away from the FBI agents. He explained that she wasn't at risk, but that wasn't comforting, at ALL. How did he know for sure? He seemed to know what he was talking about, certainly. No wonder she never learned anything about his personal life - between all the Navy Seal, Gulf War, FBI-raid experiences, he probably didn't have one.

When Sam came over to see if she was OK, it was extremely awkward, but she was surprised to see that Nico was visibly uncomfortable meeting Sam. What was with him? Well she had more important things to worry about right now than Nico's behavior being inexplicable. She had to get those files back.

Later, when she was approached by Carl, the company's CFO, she was at a loss about how to help him with his problem, so she found herself conferring with Nico in his car. He was rather cold to her at first, but then dropped the wall when she told him about Carl's ethical quandary. He arranged a meeting between the FBI and Carl, and was there to see that Carl didn't show up. At that point she told him that based on Carl's message canceling the meeting, he was a suicide risk.

Reluctantly she went to the benefit that evening, knowing that Nico was searching for her client. While she was waiting, she saw Sam, who chided her gently for being wrapped up in her work. That crystallized it - she wasn't cut out for a casual relationship. Fortunately, she was able to break it off gracefully with Sam, probably because neither of them had strong feelings involved. Immediately after she did that, she received a text from Nico. It turned out that Carl had committed suicide. She nearly broke down on the spot. She hadn't been able to help him, and now his children didn't have a father and his wife was a widow. She wracked her brain to understand why she had failed. Had she done enough?

Later, when she was in Connor's office discussing the event with Troy, Connor and Nico, she learned that he hadn't written a suicide note. That didn't make sense. Didn't he want to say good-bye to his family? In any case, she'd never know.

She walked to her office in a daze. Nico had hurried to catch up to her and had told her it wasn't her fault. She was vaguely conscious of his hand on her arm, comfortingly. She would have liked to accept that comfort, but right now she needed to process what had happened.


	8. Investigation

She was stunned when she found Carl had sent her his suicide note along with an encrypted drive. What did he want from her? Obviously whatever was on there was extremely important, but she couldn't find anyone who could remove the encryption.

She realized she had met a dead end, and she decided that she would ask Nico for help. In their dealings with the Hawks, he had shown himself to be a man of his word, and if she asked for his discretion about Carl and the drive, she thought she could trust him. This made her sad, because a year ago, she wouldn't have _thought_, she would have _known_ what to expect from him.

Sure enough, he agreed to help her. His first request was to take the drive from her, but she just couldn't. She needed to hang on to it. Nico's feelings seemed hurt, which surprised her on some level - did he really think she would unquestioningly hand it over considering how secretive he had been, and how completely he had jettisoned their friendship before?

Later she reconsidered and asked Nico to hold on to the drive when she found it after it had briefly gone missing from her purse. He asked then if she trusted him, and she said no, but softened it by saying she didn't really trust herself right then.

When he came over with the encryption software to find out what was on the drive, she felt glad she had him on her side. He hadn't let her down about this, and he would be a big help in understanding what Carl wanted her to do with the information.


	9. Clarification

And then he just disappeared. For days. He didn't return her phone calls or texts. She found herself pleading with him in her messages.

She was confused, humiliated, and increasingly, angry. He didn't respect her enough to keep her posted on something that meant everything to her right now, and that hurt more when she realized that she had trusted yet another man who didn't deserve it.

She finally cornered him in the V3 office, and he couldn't have been more dismissive or uncomfortable. He practically implied she was causing a scene. Their discussion was cut short when her idiot assistant brought her a memo saying that Hutch had left V3. That made her very nervous - the pitcher had already been showing signs of stress about something he wasn't comfortable telling her about, and now he had cut all ties with her and with baseball.

Connor had tried to prevent her from contacting Hutch, and that was the last straw. He knew she couldn't do that, and that she wouldn't do that, and here he was ordering her to step away. Hell no - she was tired of men trying to make decisions for her about her clients. She quit on the spot.

After trying to track Hutch down and conferring with Hutch's father, she realized that there was one person who might be able to provide insight into Hutch's state of mind: Joseph Crabchek. And there was only one person she knew who could help her track him down: Nico.

God, she hated asking him for anything, considering that he was already dodging her about Carl. However, Hutch was at risk and he was more important than her own anger.

But how to get Nico to speak to her? He'd think she was contacting him about Carl and keep avoiding her. As she knew, he could keep silence for months. She finally decided to appeal to the one thing she knew still was true: he remained extremely protective of her. She texted him that she was in danger and needed his help. She didn't feel guilty about it at all: Hutch needed her help.

As she had hoped, he showed up. He seemed to understand how angry she was, and for once he was apologetic, and pleaded with her for more time, more understanding, more trust. Unfortunately, as she pointed out, he'd run out of all of those from her. When she asked him about Crabchek and he said he was looking for Crabchek too, she got angrier and angrier. Thinking out loud, she realized as she said it that he must not care about her at all if he was refusing to tell her about these things that were so necessary for her to help her clients. He looked extremely agitated - almost panicked, but then muttered something patronizing about how it was more complicated than it seemed. She lost it and told him that he could either tell her everything or get out of her life for good. And she meant it. She knew it would hurt to lose him again (even though it shouldn't, considering the way he had been acting since she got to V3), but she'd deal with those emotions when they emerged. For now, she was as mad as hell.

She turned on her heel and started to walk to the door so she could show him/throw him out. She had absolutely no expectation that he would tell her anything; why start now?

She hadn't taken more than a few steps when he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back to face him. She was enraged at this point. What the hell was he doing? When he pulled her to him and kissed her, she figured it out, but she was too stunned to do anything but let him kiss her. He pulled back and she looked at him, amazed. He kissed her again, and this time she returned the kiss with an intensity that surprised her. They broke apart again and she again stared at him. She was having a hard time thinking straight, but she heard him clearly when he said he'd explain everything to her.


End file.
